I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm addicted to coke. Coca-cola, that is, not cocaine. I love the taste of coke. I love the sound it makes when you open a coke can. I love the smell of the fizz when you pour it in a glass. I love the tingly bubbles on my tongue. I love it from a can, from a bottle, from a glass. To me, coke is so refreshing. It quenches my thirst. This post is really making me want a coke.
But I can't have one. I have not had any caffeine (to drink) since last Wednesday. It's been 5 days since my last caffeinated beverage. Five looooooong days. I actually have a headache right now from my lack of caffeine. Two years ago I gave up drinking sodas for Lent. That was tough, but at least I knew it was only temporary. I could count down the days until I could pop open a can. This time, though, there is no end in sight.
I have had a lot of anxiety lately. I find myself getting worked up all the time. And last week I had my first full-blown panic attack. I thought I'd had one before, but this one definitely took the cake. I felt like I might die, and it was terrifying. It is something I hope I never experience again. Because I know there is no stressful event that caused the attack, I started looking at other causes. Turns out, caffeine is a big trigger for panic attacks.
As soon as I learned that, this sign went up on the fridge.
I know quitting cold-turkey is a little extreme, but I feel like weaning myself would be even harder. It's all or none, ya know?
While the absence of the caffeine itself has most definitely been difficult, another hard part of this is trying to find something else to drink that feels refreshing to me. I know there are plenty of caffeine free sodas, and I'll still drink those. But I feel like I need to find something that doesn't remind me of my beloved coke. I have never been a fan of water. In fact, I'm not sure I could make myself drink the required 8 glasses in one day if I tried. But, that said, I hope that I can eventually get to the point where drinking a glass of water doesn't sound so awful.
Since I'm not to the water-drinking stage yet, Doc was sweet enough to scour the grocery store for several different non-caffeinated, non-carbonated, flavored beverages. Our fridge now has everything from vitamin water to gatorade to sparkling juice.
Surely one of them has to taste as good as coke, right???
I really don't know how long I'll be able to make it without the caffeine. If anything, I can give it up for Lent since that starts this week and then see how I'm feeling when Easter gets here. Maybe by then I'll be addicted to water. Doubt it, but maybe.